Written entirely by Shane Knight.
OK, batter up. Let me just start by saying I’ve not seen ‘Avatar’ yet (I know, I know. Madness) but never mind, and the last time I saw TDK (The Dark Knight) was at the cinema (even though I’ve had the damned thing on DVD for over a year). But I feel I can speak for both. Sometimes films are Art (2001) and sometimes films are just Spectacle (The Mummy), and sometimes they can be both (Kingdom of Heaven – Dir Cut). And sometimes, just sometimes, films can be exactly what the filmmaker wants them to be, whether large or small, and it’s up to us how we take them.
BB (Batman Begins) and TDK are a pre-existing world molded around Chris Nolan’s way of thinking. Avatar is Cameron’s baby, full stop. What I’m trying to say is, ‘Fuck you Cherry’. Yeah, fuck you in your tiny murderer eyes. Let the storyteller tell the story however they want. All you have to do is watch. If it wasn’t to your liking, then that’s it, tough shit. Move on. Watch Robocop and Wicker Man, two other films that were told exactly how the storyteller wanted it just so happens they click with you. The moving image on the screen enters your tiny killer peepers and finds a nice warm place to live in your mind-box. Robocop has many faults, has does WM, in my beautiful matinee idol eyes. One thing you need to do and so do a lot of other people is open their minds and more importantly, and this I have to stress because it really fucks me off is ‘Suspend you god forsaken disbelief’. MINDBLOWING isn’t it. Just think about it for a second.
“But the joker planned it all along? Bollocks!!!”
‘The Joker’ lives in the fiction city of Gotham for FFS. Batman dresses like a fucking Bat FFS. There’s a bloke with half is fuckin’ face missing and he’s not suffered from infections and it doesn’t hurt him FFS. All these things you’re willing to accept, yet you struggle with the fact that Bruce puts on a silly voice when in costume. “Suspend you’re disbelief”!!!.
People comment on when Jar El wears glasses he’s Clark Kent and when there off he’s Superman, and nobody connects the two. Well, you see, like Batman, he lives in a fictional city, he’s from another planet, was raised in a fiction town, and he can fly. Yeah he can fucking fly and see through walls and freeze a lake with his breath. If he can do all those things he can put on a pair of specs and pretend to be someone else.
“Hey, Clark Kent is Superman!!!”
“Yeah and what the fuck are you gonna do about it?”
“Yeah well, I know your true identity”
Superman then punches the Man/Woman through the chest leaving a gaping fucking hole and no one ever questions him again.
‘Avatar’ is the story the JC wants to tell the way he wants to tell it. So if he sticks a cliched marine in there, then so be it. If he wants to whack in a few corny lines here and there, so be it. If he wants to remake Dances with wolves mixed with Furngully, so fucking be it. Take it or leave it. I’m not going to watch Avatar for the story; I’m going to watch it because I want JC to spray his golden jizz over my diamond eyes. Star Wars is shit, but it’s the story Lucas wanted to tell exactly the way he wanted to tell it, and he got his way. Take it or leave it. I still find myself watching them and liking them, even tho there weak has piss. EMPIRE is fucking slow and dull. Lord of the rings has flaws. There I said it, but fuck those flaws, I’ve suspended my mind and I love them films. They fit snuggly in my oversized face. I’ll love Avatar too. And I know when I watch TDK again soon, I’ll love that too.
To be continued...
OK, batter up. Let me just start by saying I’ve not seen ‘Avatar’ yet (I know, I know. Madness) but never mind, and the last time I saw TDK (The Dark Knight) was at the cinema (even though I’ve had the damned thing on DVD for over a year). But I feel I can speak for both. Sometimes films are Art (2001) and sometimes films are just Spectacle (The Mummy), and sometimes they can be both (Kingdom of Heaven – Dir Cut). And sometimes, just sometimes, films can be exactly what the filmmaker wants them to be, whether large or small, and it’s up to us how we take them.
BB (Batman Begins) and TDK are a pre-existing world molded around Chris Nolan’s way of thinking. Avatar is Cameron’s baby, full stop. What I’m trying to say is, ‘Fuck you Cherry’. Yeah, fuck you in your tiny murderer eyes. Let the storyteller tell the story however they want. All you have to do is watch. If it wasn’t to your liking, then that’s it, tough shit. Move on. Watch Robocop and Wicker Man, two other films that were told exactly how the storyteller wanted it just so happens they click with you. The moving image on the screen enters your tiny killer peepers and finds a nice warm place to live in your mind-box. Robocop has many faults, has does WM, in my beautiful matinee idol eyes. One thing you need to do and so do a lot of other people is open their minds and more importantly, and this I have to stress because it really fucks me off is ‘Suspend you god forsaken disbelief’. MINDBLOWING isn’t it. Just think about it for a second.
“But the joker planned it all along? Bollocks!!!”
‘The Joker’ lives in the fiction city of Gotham for FFS. Batman dresses like a fucking Bat FFS. There’s a bloke with half is fuckin’ face missing and he’s not suffered from infections and it doesn’t hurt him FFS. All these things you’re willing to accept, yet you struggle with the fact that Bruce puts on a silly voice when in costume. “Suspend you’re disbelief”!!!.
People comment on when Jar El wears glasses he’s Clark Kent and when there off he’s Superman, and nobody connects the two. Well, you see, like Batman, he lives in a fictional city, he’s from another planet, was raised in a fiction town, and he can fly. Yeah he can fucking fly and see through walls and freeze a lake with his breath. If he can do all those things he can put on a pair of specs and pretend to be someone else.
“Hey, Clark Kent is Superman!!!”
“Yeah and what the fuck are you gonna do about it?”
“Yeah well, I know your true identity”
Superman then punches the Man/Woman through the chest leaving a gaping fucking hole and no one ever questions him again.
‘Avatar’ is the story the JC wants to tell the way he wants to tell it. So if he sticks a cliched marine in there, then so be it. If he wants to whack in a few corny lines here and there, so be it. If he wants to remake Dances with wolves mixed with Furngully, so fucking be it. Take it or leave it. I’m not going to watch Avatar for the story; I’m going to watch it because I want JC to spray his golden jizz over my diamond eyes. Star Wars is shit, but it’s the story Lucas wanted to tell exactly the way he wanted to tell it, and he got his way. Take it or leave it. I still find myself watching them and liking them, even tho there weak has piss. EMPIRE is fucking slow and dull. Lord of the rings has flaws. There I said it, but fuck those flaws, I’ve suspended my mind and I love them films. They fit snuggly in my oversized face. I’ll love Avatar too. And I know when I watch TDK again soon, I’ll love that too.
To be continued...
shane, you are full of shit. I dont like TDK and Avatar BECAUSE of the way the stories are told.
ReplyDeleteI simply didnt find them enjoyable at all. But then people want to know why and so I tell them and then go into more depth explaining plot holes, cliches, etc as I'm told 'just not liking the experience' isn't a good enough reason not to like a film (or anything).
I love suspending disbelief and having fun and can ignore cliches if the films themselves are enjoyable, but they simply are NOT. And that's my main point. I didn't enjoy TDK because it was soooooo bloody dull and boring. I didn't like Avatar bacause again it was boring because I had seen it all before (just not looking so good!)
I have no idea if Batman Begins has any plot holes. I don't care! It was an amazing film to watch! Same with Robocop!
So I have no idea what you are bitching about above as I've made it quite clear that I don't like the films simply because they were not enjoyable.